The Chronicles of Era Poop

yes, for those of you who know me on dA will have read what's online of this shameful excuse of a story.

It's all a bit alt. reality, as there are a few fan characters in it, such as Era Poop (who is basically a Mary-Sue, she shares some personality traits with me.)

It gets a bit mature in some parts so I will post links to the mature parts so those of you with dA accounts can read them.

CHapter 1

Another day at the Zooniverse, another day foiling the dastardly plans of Dixon Bainbridge. That is what a typical work day for Howard Moon and Vince Noir consisted of. Every day, instead of minding an animal or two or cleaning out cages, they were off on some adventure or another, which usually consisted of outsmarting their tyrannical boss. Being a zoo keeper wasn't all it was made out to be, well certainly not for Howard and Vince.

"Hey Howard, d'you not think we'd be better off working elsewhere?" Vince asked Howard one day while they were sitting in their cabin drinking hot chocolate.
"Why?" retorted Howard, confused. "I...I l-like working here. We get good pay, and we get to meet lots of interesting people."
Vince played with his soft dark hair and giggled. "You only want to work here cos you fancy Mrs Gideon, no?"
Howard picked up a cushion and launched it at Vince, who ducked. "That's enough of that you little shit."
"I was only asking. Besides it's damn obvious you like her. You're always writing about her. I've read your diary."
This time, instead of picking up a cushion, Howard went over to Vince, and pulled him off the sofa by the collar.
"You don't go bloody reading my diary. That diary is private – for my eyes only," he growled into the younger man's face.
Vince whimpered. "Alright Howard, keep calm."
He let go of his younger friend, and just as he did that, the voice of the head zookeeper Bob Fossil could be heard throughout the Zooniverse as he brought in another group of tourists. Only, they weren't the usual tourists, oh no. Instead of groups of parents and screaming kids, or teens who threw stuff at the animals, these were some very important people – some hopeful new employees at the zoo.

Everyone at the zoo had been told to stay in their cabins, and Bob would come to your door and show you the new employees. Howard and Vince were dreading the moment when Mr Fossil would knock on the door, and a group of zoo newbies would stare into their cabin, at the notepaper lying in misshapen plies on the desk in the corner, the coffee cups lying half full all over the floor, the sleeping bags piled high in the corner – it was too much for them to bear. Then Howard had a brainwave.
"Do you reckon Naboo will have something for this?" Howard asked Vince.
Vince rolled his eyes as he picked up a magazine. "For what, Howard?"
"For our nervousness."
"I'm not nervous. Why should I be?"
"Because...because these people are going to see into our cabin. I want to make a decent first impression."
"Well Naboo certainly won't have any nerve-calming medicine. Besides, we can't move from here. Bob said we had to stay in our cabin."
"True that. Let's pass the time clearing up so the new employees get a good first impression."

Meanwhile, in another part of the zooniverse, Bob Fossil was busy showing the new employees around. There were only two new employees – a small, fat African-American man with a glass eye that he liked to remove to scare people by the name of George Johnson and a tall thin willowy lady with long thick black hair, big green eyes and glasses by the name of Era Poop. When they'd first arrived at the Zooniverse and introduced themelves to Bob and Dixon, Bob had commented on her name.
"What kind of a fucked-up name is Era Poop?" he'd asked.
Era went bright red. "I don't know. My parents chose it."
George scowled. "Ignore him sweetheart," he said, as he was good friends with Bob and knew that this could turn into a full scale brawl if one of them didn't keep quiet.

Shazam!

Aw it's cute. I can't wait to read more.

Bubblicious wrote:

Shazam!

Yeah, I know you drew me that, but it's a SPOILER...but you now all know how cute Miss Era is ^_^

Chapter 2 later

awsoem story, I have bever write one myself, only ever a futurama fanfic.

OMFG...here's Chapter 2

The two new employees had by now been shown around all the animal enclosures, and were eager to meet all the other employees of the zoo. They hoped they'd all be calmer that Bob had been, and not ask what sort of a name Era Poop was. The rounded a corner, past the lion enclosure, and came to a series of small, rickety log cabins. Each one had a label on the door as to who stayed there. They went up to the first one. Bob knocked on the door.
"Now the person that stays here is head of the reptile house. I suggest you be nice to her, and Era Poop, if you want to make a good first impression on Mrs Gideon, please, keep your piehole shut!"
The door to the reptile keepers hut swung open, and a tall woman, with thick, steel-rimmed glasses and beautiful brown hair tied back in a bun walked out of the door. Era gasped.
"Ahh, Mr Fossil, these must be the new employees," she purred. Her eyes skimmed gently over the two figures that had accompanied Mr Fossil, then she walked towards them.
"What's your name?" she asked George ever so politely.
"Erm...my...name...name...name's George," he said nervously
"George. What a lovely name. My father's father was called George."
George was so taken aback by this woman, that he fainted. Era rolled her eyes. Mrs Gideon looked at her, took one step towards her, and smiled.
"Era? Is that you?" she whispered to Era Poop.
Era smiled. "Yes cousin, it's me."
Mrs Gideon held out her arms and gave Era a hug that was so hard she thought she would pass out at any second.
"Great to see you again little cousin."
This time, Bob rolled his eyes. "Who would've guessed that someone with a fucked-up-piece-of-shit name like Era Poop was related to our reptile keeper?" he sighed.
As soon as he said that, Mrs Gideon went back into her cabin and slammed the door.
"Ok folks, let's go meet the rest of the keepers."

After going round what George and Era believed to be all the keepers, Bob announced there were two more to visit. Era wondered what they'd be like. She was looking for a boyfriend, and hadn't found any potential boyfriend material. So she decided to ask.
"Erm...Mr Fossil?" she asked shyly.
Bob spun round. "What do you want, Miss Fucked-up-in-the-head Poop?"
"What are the last two keepers like?"
"They're both mad. Well, one of them is. Two men, their names are Vince Noir and Howard Moon."
Era smiled. Vince Noir and Howard Moon sounded like pretty sexy names. She'd
have to wait and find out just how sexy they were.

Bob casually strolled up to Howard and Vince's hut and knocked on the door.
No answer.
He knocked again.
Still no answer.
He knocked again, and turned to George and Era.
"How long does it take for someone to open a fucking door?" he yelled.
His question was soon answered as Vince opened the door and peered out.
"Alright Bob?" he asked casually.
"Yeah VinceyVince, I'm fine. Now, go get silly-ass Moon and tell him the new keepers are here to meet him," was Bob's reply.
Vince went inside and shut the door. From outside, Bob, George and Era could hear muffled shouts of "Howard, come on out, the new zookeepers are here, they want to meet you!".
Era looked at George. "I hate people who are reluctant to go out of a house to meet new people."
George nodded in agreement. Just as he nodded, Vince re-appeared at the door.
"Howard's just coming, he was asleep."
Bob sighed. "He's such a retard, sleeping on the job."
"Oi, I heard that mate," shouted a deep, manly voice.
Bob gulped, and waved timidly at Howard. "I still hate you though, Moon," he giggled.
"I don't give a toss. No let us meet the new keepers."
"Alright then, let me present to you, George Johnston and Era Poop."
"Hello Howard, hello Vince," said George, as he shook hands with both men.
"Hi George," smiled Vince.
"Hello there George," said Howard with a slight laugh.
"Your turn, Era," whispered George into the young woman's ear. But instead of shaking hands with them, or saying hello, Era was staring awkwardly at Howard. She's gone bright red in the face, and was grinning slightly. "My God, he's gorgeous," she thought happily to herself. "I'm so nervous, what am I going to say to him!"
"Hi Howard, I think you're sexy," she blurted out. Uh-oh, wrong way to go.
However, instead of getting shouted at by Howard or Vince or George or Bob, she looked up at Howard to see that he too had gone bright red in the face.
"I take that as a compliment," he grinned, as he took Era's left hand and kissed it.
Vince, George and Bob whistled. "Holy mother of God, they barely know each other and already I can see something going on between them!" chuckled Vince.
The three of them then burst out laughing, and it was Howard who shut them all up.
"Right, sorry," giggled Bob after he'd stopped laughing like a hyena. "Now Era, George, I'm gonna tell you where you'll be lodging whilst you work with us, since we have no free cabins until our dolphin trainer retires next month."
Era stood there, hoping that she'd either be staying with her cousin, or the beautiful Howard Moon.
"George, you'll be staying with Mrs Gideon."
George leapt into the air, with a loud cry of "WOO!". He jumped so high, with so much vigour, that his glass eye fell out, and rolled along the ground and into the gutter.
"There goes my eye," he moaned.
"And Era, you'll be staying with Howard and Vince."
Era could feel herself going red in the face again, as she walked back into the hut with Howard and Vince. She waved goodbye to Bob and George, as they walked off toward Mrs Gideon's hut.
"Bye Bob, bye George, hope to see you again soon!" she shouted after them, before Howard shut the door to their cabin.

I loved it!!!

TheChosenOne wrote:

I loved it!!!

Merci.

CHAPTER 3

"Right Miss Poop, welcome to our hut."
Howard and Vince were trying to show Era around their hut. As Era looked around, she laughed.
"This reminds me of my old house. It's all untidy and homely," she giggled, as Howard and Vince sighed.
Howard showed her over to the sofa, and pushed her onto it. "Do you want a cuppa or something?" he asked politely.
Era could feel herself going red again. "Yes please," she smiled up at him. He smiled back, and walked over to the sink, while Vince was rummaging around in their wardrobe.
"Vince, what are you looking for?"
"That extra sleeping bag and pillow we have somewhere. Unless you're making our new' flatmate' stay outside in the cold."
Howard growled at Vince. "It's not in the wardrobe."
"How do you know, smartypants?"
"Because I moved it to make room for your stupid collection of designer boots."
"You're calling my footwear stupid? They're all very pricey, unlike those stupid builder boots and cheap patent leather shoes you buy, which tend to fall apart within the first month of wearing them!"
"Vince, shut the fuck up. The sleeping bag is under my desk. Stop arguing, you're making Era feel uncomfortable."
"I'm not the one who started this bloody argument!"
Howard just grunted. "You fix Era's cup of tea, I'll set out her bed."
Era sat, watching the interaction between these two men. They bickered and argued like an old married couple. Maybe they WERE an old married couple? Or maybe they were just best friends. Friends argued a lot – Era knew that from past experience. And if they had been a couple, then Howard wouldn't have kissed her hand...would he? She sighed, then got up and went over to speak to Howard.

After both men had calmed down, and they'd finally got the sleeping bag out from under Howard's desk, the three of them sat down and had tea and biscuits. The biscuits they had in weren't very interesting – rich teas and malted milk biscuits – but biscuits were biscuits.
"So Era," said Vince, "what brings you here. I mean, why did you decide to work here, at the Zooniverse?"
"Well, because I like meeting new people, and working with animals," replied Era.
Vince smiled at her. "We work here, because...well, we have nothing better to do with our spare time, though we hope to leave here soon and go off to college."
Era smiled back at Vince. "I like you Vince, you're a very nice man."
Howard glared at her. "What sort of slut are you? One minute you like me, the next it's Vince. Who's it gonna be next, Bob?"
"I don't like him in that way. I like you Howard. "
Vince laughed a little, and Howard relaxed.
"What's the time Howard?" asked Vince.
"Seven o'clock. We've got enough time to eat, play cards, listen to the news on the radio and brush our teeth before bed. Now where did I put those playing cards?"

Yay keep it coming.
It's funny... I can actually HEAR them saying this stuff in my head as I read it. lol.

TheChosenOne wrote:

Yay keep it coming.
It's funny... I can actually HEAR them saying this stuff in my head as I read it. lol.

Orly?

Chapter 4...

http://llama-lady.deviantart.com/gallery/25250911#/d2syweo

Since it's a "mature content" one, you must have an account on deviantArt

FlyingTanuki wrote:

TheChosenOne wrote:

Yay keep it coming.
It's funny... I can actually HEAR them saying this stuff in my head as I read it. lol.

Orly?

Chapter 4...

http://llama-lady.deviantart.com/gallery/25250911#/d2syweo

Since it's a "mature content" one, you must have an account on deviantArt

Ah ok. Cool. I will make an account and check it out.

TheChosenOne wrote:

FlyingTanuki wrote:

TheChosenOne wrote:

Yay keep it coming.
It's funny... I can actually HEAR them saying this stuff in my head as I read it. lol.

Orly?

Chapter 4...

http://llama-lady.deviantart.com/gallery/25250911#/d2syweo

Since it's a "mature content" one, you must have an account on deviantArt

Ah ok. Cool. I will make an account and check it out.

and did you?

Not yet, sorry I've had alot on my mind recently.

In that case I'm not posting any more chapters until I get some critique/feedback